6 Months Post-op!!!

Today I am 6 months post-op. I also reached another milestone; being able to do 35 minutes on the elliptical. It has been such an accomplishment, but there has been many battles along the way. I think about where I was 6 months ago tonight. I was just out of surgery, recovering from a long surgery and beginning the recovery process. Its hard to think that I am already 6 months into my recovery. I can not seriously start thinking about doing the other hip.

Today, my hip friend Marcie, had her surgery and she begins the recovery process. I have quite a few hip friends that will be having surgery here shortly: Courtney, Sabrina, Jessica and Shelly will all be having their hip surgeries in the next month or so. Sooner than they think they will be 6 months post-op and astonished at all the progress they have made. I am going to be there for them through all the ups and downs. It is a hard process, but I do believe it will all be worth it when fully healed!

The more I keep pushing myself the more I ache. I guess that is part of the recovery process. My muscles have not been worked like this in awhile and they are readjusting to the routine. It is so nice to be in the gym on a regular basis again! I am starting to drop the weight. I gained a total of 20lbs. and about 12 inches throughout my body. So far, I have lost about 5 lbs and 6 inches from my body. I am starting to fit back into my clothes, but still have a ways to go. It feels good to see progress. It was such a bummer to gain weight on top of the hip problem :( I really don't think gaining 20 lbs was helping my hip problem either. Well on that note, neither is this crappy weather. My other hip is also acting up and I get nervous thinking about doing this process all over again. This time I am better prepared and know what to expect. It still doesn't make it easy, but I have a lot of support to help me through the recovery.

I am looking forward to the holidays and spending it with family. The only thing in my way right now is a week of final exams. BOO! I am having a movie night this Friday to spend some time with the hip girls! I am looking forward to it. Good food, great friends and some entertainment too! Last week, we got together at the Olive Garden and were there for about 4 hours laughing and having a ball. Our waiter left before we did! LOL I am so grateful to have these amazing women in my life!

Approaching 6 Months Post-Op

In another week or so I will be 6 months post-op from my RPAO. I have been gaining some more strength and endurance. I have been able to do 25 minutes on the ellipitcal without stopping. As I look back and realize how much of an accomplishment that really is, I still know that I have a ways to go. I still have pain in my hip and my left hip has been bothering me more and more. I am still not aloowed to work "through the pain" because I have a stress fracture that is healing along with the surgical sites. I am discouraged because I have gained about 15 lbs since the surgery and am having difficulty dropping the pounds. I am hoping as I continue to eat healthy and am able to more cardio and weights I will be able to drop the weight. It is just not fun to have a hip problem and gain weight too. Boo :(

I have been blessed with the ability to meet other hippie girls in the Indy area. They truly are amazing women! They tell me how encouraging I am to talk with prior to their surgeries, but listening to them encourages me. Not only was I able to go through my recovery with Stephanie, but I now regularly speak with Jessica, Courtney, Shelly and Sabrina. There are also a couple ladies I speak with from out of town, Jennifer and Marcie. It has been a blessing to have things like facebook and hipwomen to be able to stay in contact with other hippies. It is amazing to be able to speak with others who understand what you are going through. It is always nice to have a shoulder to lean on. These other women have amazing strength and charisma that raise my spirits and give me a renewed strength; that we are not alone and will get through this! I thank God for being able to meet and speak with all of them. It has been a real blessing.

I have been seriously contemplating having my left hip done next summer. I do not want it to get nearly as bad or painful as my right one had before having it fixed. Also, while I am still covered on my parents insurance plan, which is a great plan, I want to take the opportunity while I still have it. I have looked at getting my own plan, but they would not cover the PAO for a significant period of time and the price is not afforadable. I am going to be in a Master's Program next fall, so I still am eligible under my parents plan, so I want to take advantage of the insurance plan while I can. I am trying to prepare myself because my left hip has been acting up and the symptoms are similar to my right when it began to bother me. I would just like to get them both done and overwith, heal and move on!

I am hoping for a great holiday this winter. I will be making a lot of visits to Methodist Hospital to visit my hippie girls recovering from their surgeries and I will be spending a lot of time with my family and friends enjoying good food and great company. I am very excited to be finishing up my fall semester and beginning my last semester of my undergraduate degree. This year has been very challenging with many struggles, but there has been many great moments as well as being blessed with many new friends!

Sometimes I Just Don't Understand

Well, lately has been a roller coaster of events, emotions and stress. I am coming to the end of my fall semester of my senior year, which is exciting, as well as applying for graduate school. On another note, it looks as if this will be my last semester with ROTC. I spoke with my commander and we are submitting my medical packet for determination of my status, but we already know what the answer is going to be...I am going to be disenrolled and return to my enlisted rank. My heart feels so broken because I get all the way through the program and fail to receive my gold bar. I feel like I my hard work is never good enough, as if the problem with the hip wasn't bad enough, my goals are falling apart as well. However, it does look like I may be bable to pursue a different commissioning avenue, but it will have to be another year or two to allow enough time to properly heal. I haven't really voiced anything to my friends yet, nor my peers. I am not sure how to say it, because I am afraid of breaking into tears. I couldn't help the tears while speaking with my commander, its been so disappointing and I feel as if I can not win. Fortunately, my commander has been supportive and has done anything in his power to help and work with me through this situation. I am truly grateful for that. It has at least made the transition easier, as well I will be able to leave on a positive note and with recommendations for commissioning at a later time.

These last few weeks have been so draining, but I have been able to find renewed strength in my hippie friends. I have been able to meet with some amazing young women (Jessica, Shelly, Courtney) who are gearing up for their hip surgeries in the next few weeks. It is a blessing to be able to speak with others who completely understand what you are going through. It is nice to be able to vent and even joke about the experiences that we have had. We can joke around that we are really part german shepherd and larbrador retreiver. lol It has been nice to have some new friends that don't think you are nuts or are faking it. Can't believe it, but some people just think you are faking it for attention, no joke! Its great to be able to lean on others and not take the journey alone.

I have been doing my best to lose the weight I gained after the surgery, but it has to be one of the biggest pains. I watch what I eat, drink plenty of water, but my exercise limitations make it difficults to drop the lb's. I have to be very careful not to work through pain, which makes my workout routines sporadic. When I get worn down, I hurt more and then can not exercise. It adds to the frustration because I would love to be able to work out some frustration, but I can't screw with the healing process.

On a good note, my pup, Chloe, is such a joy to have aorund. Her excitement and enthusiasm is contagious. She is always excited to see you and makes a great cuddle buddy :)

Stressed Hippie

I received the results from my ct scan at the beginning of the week...you know something is not right when you are called first thing Monday morning, when your scan was Friday and the message starts with "the doctor looked at the scan over the weekend" and all I was thinking was Oh Shit! I knew something wasn't right. The message continued with "the doc looked at the scan and believes that you have a stress fracture." Great, one more thing to deal with. On the bright side I did not have any larbral or ligament tears, so I just need more time to heal.

Next, I thought how did I sustain a fracture? I haven't been doing anything that the doctor hasn't approved. I have been doing physical therapy, stretching, resting with more pain and not trying to push my luck. I just feel that I have terrible luck or for a matter of fact, no luck at all. With the fracture news I am even more cautious to the point of paranoia that I am going to do something and my hip will shatter. I have been taking calcium supplements and have been doing anything I can to help heal. Maybe my body just heals slower. I just am afraid of ruining the surgery or having to start over. Another part of me thinks "will I ever heal?" "Will I have pain everyday?"

It is very frustrating to feel that I will never heal or that things are getting worse rather than better. I also have to remind myself that this was a major surgery and that it is going to take a long time to heal. I guess I am just going to have to swim more! I have been looking into a fitness membership at a gym with a pool and maybe some spinning and aquatic classes. I need to find some other motivation because running is going to be a lot farther down the rode. This is a long journey...just keep pushing!

A Hip Scan

I am anxiously awaiting the results of my CT Scan that I had this past Friday morning. Surprisingly, the can was very short compared to having an MRI. It only took a few minutes, but I am very nervous about the results because the tech did the same thing they did the last time I had tests run. He asked if my doctor's office would be in contact with me and it was said with some concern in his voice and it reminded me of the similar response the tech had with my MRI results which is what started this hip journey. Its this bad feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, that you know something doesn't feel right and thats how I feel right now. I am keeping my fingers crossed that its just inflamed and nothing serious, but I haven't had good luck with this.

This past week however, I met with a wonderful individual by the name of Courtney Vogel. She too is a hippie and we are patients of the same OS, Dr. Scheid. We had grabbed some food and discussed PAO because she will be undergoing a PAO December 11, 2009. I was able to get her in contact with another friend, Sabrina, who will be undergoing the same surgery 4 days after her. It is nice, despite the circumstances, to have friends that understand exactly what you are going through, Stephanie and I gained a friendship through this hardship and were ablt to motivate eachother through the process. I hope that Sabrina and Courtney will be able to do that for eachother. Steph had her surgery one day after mine and it was great because we were able to check up on eachother and motivate eachother through the recovery process. It was truly an answered prayer.

I have been having an inkling to have PAO shirts made with the pack of the shirt having the letter PAO airbrushed into a greek-house type lettering with hip on the front of the shirt. I feel as if we are part of a unique sisterhood and the shirts would be entertaining and rightfully earned through lots of blood, pain and tears. I might just show up at the hospital with shirts for Courtney and Sabrina, of course, Steph and I need definitely need one!!!

So...

Well, this past week I not only surpassed the 4 month mark of post RPAO. I also found out some interesting information from my OS. The appointment went alright, I do have a muscle that has detached from the hip bone, which is why I have noticed a "dent" in my right hip. I also might need a CT scan to determine the increased pain level I have been experiencing recently. We are hoping that the muscle relaxers and the Celebrex will help ease the discomfort. If the pain improves on the meds the CT scan might not be necessary. It wasn't the most uplifting visits and I hope that nothing is seriously wrong with the recovery.

After my post-op appointment I had a physical therapy session. I asked my therapist a question in regards to my recovery because I saw a diagnosis of osteoarthritis in my records from my OS and I asked if running is possible or recommended with osteoarthritis and the response was NO, it is not recommended. He also said to speak with my OS, which I definitely will because that is very upsetting to me. I had always kept getting back into running in the back of my mind and hearing that was crushing. After all this, I was so looking forward to pounding the pavement and as of right now, it is out of the question. I feel like part of me is missing when I am not running and never being able to do it again is heartbreaking. When do you keep pushing the limit? When do you just take the advice of the medical professionals and follow the rules? People are told things are impossible all the time and overcome them, but when do you know when to keep fighting? I feel like part of my heart is crushed.

The farther I get into the recovery the more it becomes clear that the Army is no longer for me. I am just hoping at this point to get back to a somewhat "normal" place. This has been a rough week and thinking about all the things you love being taken away or not being possible has been difficult. It gets even harder when I think about doing this all over again...

This Week Marks 4 Months Post-Op

I see my OS this Thursday for my 4 month post-op check-up. I have been more sore than normal lately and I am sure the changing weather is partially to blame. My hip has this deep sore and raw feeling that can be frustrating and discouraging at times. I have also been getting muscles spasms lately and the muscles relaxers I was prescribed don't seem to be relaxing enough. Ironic isn't it? I have been trying to get my core muscles back into shape by doing pilates and stretching...it seems to be helping to an extent, but I still have so far to go. I picked up a new pair of running shoes this week, the Asics Gel-Kinsei 3, and they are sitting in my closet in hopes of being able to lace them up in the next couple months. I can't wait to pound the pavement and take the pup out for a good run. I bought them as motivation to keep pushing towards running again.

As of right now, I have little to no motivation to continue on with the Army and I hope that I can get a medical discharge and can move on. I am currently applying for a master's program with a degree in public health and that is what I would like to be doing as of next fall. I am also going to take the LSAT this December because ultimately I would like to be in the dual grad program which would combine my masters with a law degree. I would specialize in health law and policy. I feel that is where my heart has been drawn to. I have been broken by the Army and I don't want to jeopardize a lifetime of problems for a "job." I have put so much into the Army and I feel that when I was hurt there was no one there to back me up. I don't want to continue with it anymore.

This week the nurse of my OS got in contact with my hip friend, Stephanie, and she passed on the message that another PAO patient was looking for advice and someone to chat with in regards to hip dysplasia. Steph and I have been trying to come up with good advice and things to keep in mind. It is nice to be able to share my experience with others and I am so glad that it aides in others journeys. It is what has motivated me to pursue a career in public health. I would like to put a PAO group together and be able to get together and share stories, experiences, and just have fun!