Less than 2 weeks and counting...

I have just past the two week mark till my surgery and I feel like time is flying faster than I can move to get things done! The weather lately has been a bummer and my hips have been very angry at me, like I can control the weather!! I totally understand why retirees move to Florida because your body hurts way less in warmer weather lol I have been trying to make up homework and exams prior to the surgery so I won't be behind following the surgery, but my work load was already hard enough and now I have even more work. I have also been cleaning and organizing the apartment so things will be easily accesible for me post-op. I did schedule a hair appointment and mani/pedi the day before my surgery for a little pampering.

I am boarding my pup, Chloe, for about 3 days during my surgery so she can play and get her attention while I get mine. I will miss her though, she sleeps in the bed everynight and it will be very weird to not have her to cuddle with while I recover. She has a luxury suite at Barkefellers and gets to play with other dogs during the day, what a life!!! She also gets to watch movies at night and pupcorn to snack on! Its too cute!



I wish I could sneak her into my pre-op room as a service dog! I wonder if they would notice? lol She has been a blessing to have around and motivates me to recover quickly so I can play with her!

I am just getting so anxious for my surgery. I love my surgeon, Dr. Maiers, and know he will do a great job, but the pain level freaks me out and I wake up very poorly which also scares me. I don't handle anesthesia very well and take an abnormally long amount of time to wake up from it and when I do I shake uncontrollably and can't hardly breathe, which just makes me panic even more! I am also unsure of the recovery. I know, weird, I went through the PAO and that is what I was prepping myself for, but had a curveball thrown my way instead. That and I am so hoping this will be enough so that I do not need a LPAO, but trying not to get my hopes up too high just in case I still need to have it done. I am trying to keep myself mentally prepared for whatever I need to do to get back to running, being active and army training. I have been having nightmares about the surgery almost every night and its not helping with the anxiety nor is the lack of sleep. I am just ready to get this done with so that I may recover!

Surgery in 3 WEEKS!!!

So, I had my appointment with Dr. Maiers this morning and I was there for almost 2 hours, but I have to say that I feel pretty good after talking with him. I had numerous x-rays and will need a ct scan in the couple weeks prior to the surgery. We discussed my options and have decided to pursue a hip arthroscopy in which Dr. Maiers will reshape my femoral head because I have "weird hip bones" and he will also do a cartilage repair and psoas tendon release. The dysplasia on my right hip has improved by ten degrees with the RPAO, but my left is borderline and doing the femoral head reshaping might be enough to avoid the LPAO, which is great! It is not a guarantee, but worth the surgery if it does provide relief. So I scheduled it and I will be having my left hip scoped 3 weeks from tomorrow morning. The surgery should take about 2.5 hours, if all goes well and I will have to use crutches for about a month, but will be allowed to bear weight as tolerated. The total recovery times is upwards of 6 months and I should be able to start running again in about 3 months if all goes accordingly to plan.

Although I am extremely nervous, I know I am in good hands with Maiers and I hope this will fix my problem. Since this is also less invasive than the PAO and might give me more options in regards to the Army. I am hoping that will give me the opportunites I have worked so hard for, but I do have to stay realistic. It is exciting to see some hope again. I was devastated when I got my MRI results Friday and Scheid shoved me off, but I feel much more re-leaved after speaking with Maiers. Hopefully I will be ready for surgery because in 3 weeks it is coming whether I like it or not!

Let it Begin...

We are only a few days into the new year and I can already feel the stress. I am officially 7 months post-op tomorrow and am excited for my progress however the whole process is starting over again, but for my left hip. I saw my OS yesterday, Dr. Scheid, and I am getting an MRI arthrogram and cortisone injection next Wednesday. The type and area of pain indicate a labral tear, something that I am all too familiar with, and he might want to have it arthroscopically evaluated first, see how it heals and then pursue a the LPAO if I continue to have problems. The part that worries me is that I tore cartilage in my right hip and both the scope and PAO were done the same day. I do not have the time to scope it, wait to heal, then more than likely do the PAO afterwards because I have school and training for the army and it makes it soo difficult to work around numerous operations expecially since I have spent the last year recovering from the right. The eerie thing about it all is that exactly one year ago next week I tore my labrum and ligaments in my right hip, which started this whole journey. I know this feeling all too well and would really like to have one surgery to fix it all and move on to recovery. I have to wait for the results to figure out when I will see the doc again, but I hope and pray that it can all be done at once. I hate playing the waiting game. I am just frustrated because I have moderate dysplasia in both hips and don't understand why he is approaching the left hip differently than the right.

Also, my boyfriend, Andrew, and I are taking some time apart because we have hit a really rough patch. I feel that when it rains it pours. Although I have postitive feelings for 2010, it is not starting out how I hoped. I love him very much, but I am not sure if we are going to be able to fix the damage at this point. I physcially can not take anymore stress and I just want to feel better again. All of this makes my depression worse and these are the moments when I doubt myself and I wonder if I will ever heal, or if anything could go right. Sometimes I wonder just how much more I can take.

Fortunately, I have some amazing hippie girls that are always there for support. I am so glad to see that Sabrina, Marcie and Courtney are doing well. Shelly goes in for her RPAO tomorrow and she is all our thoughts and prayers. Shelly also got engaged! Congrats girlie! At least she has something to look forward to and plan while she recovers.


Having the girls around and talking with Jen and Marcie via email and FB has made it easier. Its nice to bounce thoughts off others and get others support. I was just shocked about how my doc has decided to approach the left hip. I had prepared myself for just the LPAO at the end of the semester, not for a possible scope, MRI, etc.

Classes start next week and I have to get a lot finished before then. I have a lot on my mind and I hope that everything will work out...

2009 Comes to a Close...Thank God!!!

2009 has been both a long and interesting year. For me, it started with one of my last few semesters of school, as well as ROTC. Unknown to me, it also was going to be the start of a long recovery process. Last January I was diagnosed with moderate, bilateral hip dysplasia and was scheduled for a RPAO. It was the result of tearing ligaments and cartilage during an ROTC basketball tournament. Little did I know how involved and intense the surgery and recovery would be. As a result of that I was diagnosed with depression. My path in life has also changed. A year ago I was on the path to commission as a U.S. Army Officer in May 2010, but now will be postponed indefinitely due to the hip condition. Through my hip injury and recovery I have a new-found passion in health law and reform and am now pursuing a law degree with a Master's in Public Health. I will also be re-classing as a medic in the Indiana National Guard and will currently be staying on the enlisted side of the house.

I have also moved into a new apartment on the southside of Indianapolis, which has been a beautiful place to live. The complex is full of military personnel, so I feel right at home! I was also able to get a puppy, thanks to my boyfriend Andrew, and she has been a true blessing. She makes me smile everytime I think about her and she pushes me to heal, so that I may play more with her! She gives me kisses and loves on me and can make any day that much brighter. She has been a great part of the healing process, as well as a great companion.


My boyfriend, Andrew, has been very supportive through the healing process. Although lately we have hit a rough patch, I hope that things will be resolved and we will be better because of it. I am not sure what I will do if things do not work out, but I do not know if I can handle more sadness. I love him very much. I just don't want 2010 to start like 2009 did. I want a fresh and happy start to a new year. I am pushing for a positive outlook.

My family has been amazing. I can always count on them for advice, guidance, support and love. This year has not only been hard on me, but them as well. We have endured job loss, as well as the blessing of a new, great job for my dad. My dad is currently my roommate because of it! lol Rolls Royce is a great place for my dad to work and I greatly enjoy seeing him a lot more. My mom has been a great supporter and cheerleader for all of us. My older brother, Michael, is still pursuing Chaplaincy and is currently working in a hospital. He graduated with his Master's of Divinity; what a smart cookie! My little brother, Aaron, graduted from high school and started pursuing his career in computer technology; he is a smart cookie too! My Auntie Dena has been great support through the hip diagnosis and I can always call her just to chat!! All around, my family is very close and supportive and couldn't be more grateful. I am very blessed.

Through researching my hip condition I came in contact with other women with the same condition. This too has been a blessing. Being able to share the experience with others has been a critical part in healing. It has been wonderful to get to know some amazing women and be able to lean on and cheer on eachother. We truly understand eachother and it makes it easier to get through all that is involved with hip dysplasia. I love all the hippie girls (Marcie, Shelly, Annick, Jen, Jessica, Courtney, Sabrina & Stephanie)!!!

Jessica, Me & Shelly

This year has been full of ups and downs and lately I feel as if it has been more downs. I feel like I have been kicked over and over this year, with little room to breathe. I can not even imagine if I didn't have my family and friends where I would be. God has been looking out for me, even though this past year, I pushed him away in anger, he just hugged tighter and made sure I was taken care of. He is an amazing God. I realize how much I need him in my life and that nothing is possible without him! I am renewing my relationship with Christ and have learned through my trials and tribulations that he is always there for you, even when you push him away.

This year has been nothing short of challenging and has tested me in every aspect of my life. I feel as if I have failed at times, but then I realize that I am still standing and still pushing. I look forward to a new year, new resolutions, new experiences and new relationships/friendships, as well as completing my undergraduate degree and pursuing graduate school!!! I am ready 2010!!!

Only if our doc could see us now...he would probably cringe!!! LOL

6 Months Post-op!!!

Today I am 6 months post-op. I also reached another milestone; being able to do 35 minutes on the elliptical. It has been such an accomplishment, but there has been many battles along the way. I think about where I was 6 months ago tonight. I was just out of surgery, recovering from a long surgery and beginning the recovery process. Its hard to think that I am already 6 months into my recovery. I can not seriously start thinking about doing the other hip.

Today, my hip friend Marcie, had her surgery and she begins the recovery process. I have quite a few hip friends that will be having surgery here shortly: Courtney, Sabrina, Jessica and Shelly will all be having their hip surgeries in the next month or so. Sooner than they think they will be 6 months post-op and astonished at all the progress they have made. I am going to be there for them through all the ups and downs. It is a hard process, but I do believe it will all be worth it when fully healed!

The more I keep pushing myself the more I ache. I guess that is part of the recovery process. My muscles have not been worked like this in awhile and they are readjusting to the routine. It is so nice to be in the gym on a regular basis again! I am starting to drop the weight. I gained a total of 20lbs. and about 12 inches throughout my body. So far, I have lost about 5 lbs and 6 inches from my body. I am starting to fit back into my clothes, but still have a ways to go. It feels good to see progress. It was such a bummer to gain weight on top of the hip problem :( I really don't think gaining 20 lbs was helping my hip problem either. Well on that note, neither is this crappy weather. My other hip is also acting up and I get nervous thinking about doing this process all over again. This time I am better prepared and know what to expect. It still doesn't make it easy, but I have a lot of support to help me through the recovery.

I am looking forward to the holidays and spending it with family. The only thing in my way right now is a week of final exams. BOO! I am having a movie night this Friday to spend some time with the hip girls! I am looking forward to it. Good food, great friends and some entertainment too! Last week, we got together at the Olive Garden and were there for about 4 hours laughing and having a ball. Our waiter left before we did! LOL I am so grateful to have these amazing women in my life!

Approaching 6 Months Post-Op

In another week or so I will be 6 months post-op from my RPAO. I have been gaining some more strength and endurance. I have been able to do 25 minutes on the ellipitcal without stopping. As I look back and realize how much of an accomplishment that really is, I still know that I have a ways to go. I still have pain in my hip and my left hip has been bothering me more and more. I am still not aloowed to work "through the pain" because I have a stress fracture that is healing along with the surgical sites. I am discouraged because I have gained about 15 lbs since the surgery and am having difficulty dropping the pounds. I am hoping as I continue to eat healthy and am able to more cardio and weights I will be able to drop the weight. It is just not fun to have a hip problem and gain weight too. Boo :(

I have been blessed with the ability to meet other hippie girls in the Indy area. They truly are amazing women! They tell me how encouraging I am to talk with prior to their surgeries, but listening to them encourages me. Not only was I able to go through my recovery with Stephanie, but I now regularly speak with Jessica, Courtney, Shelly and Sabrina. There are also a couple ladies I speak with from out of town, Jennifer and Marcie. It has been a blessing to have things like facebook and hipwomen to be able to stay in contact with other hippies. It is amazing to be able to speak with others who understand what you are going through. It is always nice to have a shoulder to lean on. These other women have amazing strength and charisma that raise my spirits and give me a renewed strength; that we are not alone and will get through this! I thank God for being able to meet and speak with all of them. It has been a real blessing.

I have been seriously contemplating having my left hip done next summer. I do not want it to get nearly as bad or painful as my right one had before having it fixed. Also, while I am still covered on my parents insurance plan, which is a great plan, I want to take the opportunity while I still have it. I have looked at getting my own plan, but they would not cover the PAO for a significant period of time and the price is not afforadable. I am going to be in a Master's Program next fall, so I still am eligible under my parents plan, so I want to take advantage of the insurance plan while I can. I am trying to prepare myself because my left hip has been acting up and the symptoms are similar to my right when it began to bother me. I would just like to get them both done and overwith, heal and move on!

I am hoping for a great holiday this winter. I will be making a lot of visits to Methodist Hospital to visit my hippie girls recovering from their surgeries and I will be spending a lot of time with my family and friends enjoying good food and great company. I am very excited to be finishing up my fall semester and beginning my last semester of my undergraduate degree. This year has been very challenging with many struggles, but there has been many great moments as well as being blessed with many new friends!

Sometimes I Just Don't Understand

Well, lately has been a roller coaster of events, emotions and stress. I am coming to the end of my fall semester of my senior year, which is exciting, as well as applying for graduate school. On another note, it looks as if this will be my last semester with ROTC. I spoke with my commander and we are submitting my medical packet for determination of my status, but we already know what the answer is going to be...I am going to be disenrolled and return to my enlisted rank. My heart feels so broken because I get all the way through the program and fail to receive my gold bar. I feel like I my hard work is never good enough, as if the problem with the hip wasn't bad enough, my goals are falling apart as well. However, it does look like I may be bable to pursue a different commissioning avenue, but it will have to be another year or two to allow enough time to properly heal. I haven't really voiced anything to my friends yet, nor my peers. I am not sure how to say it, because I am afraid of breaking into tears. I couldn't help the tears while speaking with my commander, its been so disappointing and I feel as if I can not win. Fortunately, my commander has been supportive and has done anything in his power to help and work with me through this situation. I am truly grateful for that. It has at least made the transition easier, as well I will be able to leave on a positive note and with recommendations for commissioning at a later time.

These last few weeks have been so draining, but I have been able to find renewed strength in my hippie friends. I have been able to meet with some amazing young women (Jessica, Shelly, Courtney) who are gearing up for their hip surgeries in the next few weeks. It is a blessing to be able to speak with others who completely understand what you are going through. It is nice to be able to vent and even joke about the experiences that we have had. We can joke around that we are really part german shepherd and larbrador retreiver. lol It has been nice to have some new friends that don't think you are nuts or are faking it. Can't believe it, but some people just think you are faking it for attention, no joke! Its great to be able to lean on others and not take the journey alone.

I have been doing my best to lose the weight I gained after the surgery, but it has to be one of the biggest pains. I watch what I eat, drink plenty of water, but my exercise limitations make it difficults to drop the lb's. I have to be very careful not to work through pain, which makes my workout routines sporadic. When I get worn down, I hurt more and then can not exercise. It adds to the frustration because I would love to be able to work out some frustration, but I can't screw with the healing process.

On a good note, my pup, Chloe, is such a joy to have aorund. Her excitement and enthusiasm is contagious. She is always excited to see you and makes a great cuddle buddy :)