Boston or Bust

The last couple weeks have been stressful and the next 10 days will only be increasingly more stressful. As the spring classes ended, the summer session started only a few days later, leaving no time for a break. The first weekend of my summer session I spent with my Army National Guard unit to do our monthly training and medical mission. Although I am not physically able to do a lot, it is nice to be in a medical unit where I do have a job and can feel like I am contributing to the mission. And, of course, I do love my unit! I have some very close friends or family and we can make almost anything fun. The downside is that the weekends are very long and with trouble or no sleeping it becomes very draining. I am hoping that after surgery with less pain and better function life will begin to return to normal, I will be able to sleep and function more normally.

SPC. Heather Moon, SSG. Angela Darrall, SPC. Lauren Guieb, Me

My baby, Chloe, turned 2 this year! She has definitely matured a lot and we have bonded very closely. I love her soo much and definitely spoil her as often as I can. The 25th is her birthday and I had planned to get her some favorite treats at 3 Dog Bakery and some new toys. The weekend prior to her birthday I noticed some small, hard growths on the side of her lip, which had not been there just a few days earlier. Sunday morning I took her to Banfield Pet Hospital to see her vet. The vet did determine that they were not cysts, but tumors and highly recommended having them removed and biopsied because there were concerning. Also, since she would already be under anesthesia he suggested dental scaling to maintain her dental health, etc. I agreed and we scheduled Chloe for surgery, but unfortunately, it would be on her birthday. Wednesday she went in for her surgery and dental cleaning. The surgery went great, removed the tumors, stitched her up and sent her home with some pearly whites. She would have stitches in for 2 weeks. A few days later I was trimming her nails and noticed another growth, but on her paw. My stomach sank. I felt so terrible because she may have to go through this process again and that the biopsies may not come back with good results. The following morning we were back at the vet. The vet determined that it was an interdigital cyst and not related to the other growth. It was an inflammatory reaction that is very common in dogs, especially with longer coats. Back home we went. That evening I noticed Chloe digging and scratching at her ear. I examined her ear and it was obvious that she had a bad ear infection. I tried cleaning it out and holding warm compresses on it because I did not have any meds and we would have to return to the vet again in the morning. Poor pup was so miserable. I held and tried to comfort her all night. Sunday morning when I woke to get ready to take her to the vet I noticed her making a strange noise and her whole body was convulsing. I tried waking her, but her eyes were rolled in the back of her head. Chloe had just had a seizure. I couldn't believe it and just felt so horrible for her. What a terrible week! Chloe and I headed back to the vet for the 4th time in 8 days. The vet took a culture of the discharge in her ear. It was definitely an ear infection because of the overgrowth of yeast. It was probably caused by the post-op antibiotics throwing of the yeast/bacteria balance. He looked at her paw as well. Chloe was given meds for the ear and paw. One of the meds would help with both the inflammation in the ear as well as the paw. We also discussed her seizure. He determined it was probably caused by the cumulative period of stress. It is not uncommon for high-anxiety dogs such as Aussies and Border Collies to have a seizure after a high or cumulative period of stress. It is something we would just have to be cognizant of. We were also able to find out the results of the biopsy which were negative, benign tumors. Whew! What a relief! I couldn't bare the thought of losing Chloe. Again, we headed home, armed with meds and would hopefully not return till the follow-up for the stitches. Within a few doses Chloe was doing significantly better and after a couple of days she got her spunk back!

Chloe's 2nd Birthday-May 25th

I am so glad that Chloe is on the mend because there would be no way that I could leave her sick in Indy while I would be in Boston. She is my fur-child and I need to make sure she is okay. I am just glad that she is feeling so much better. I hate seeing her in pain and sick. I only have a week and a half before I leave for Boston. There is so much left to do and yet, I am so anxious about another surgery. You think I would be use to it by now being that this one will be #8! I will be finishing my summer session a week early so I will be taking my finals, giving a presentation and turning in papers/projects before I leave next Thursday morning. Also, I need to prep and clean my apartment, pick up last minute items, clean, pack, and go to a couple last-minute doctor appointments. One will be to an ophthamologist because my "good" eye suddenly has periods of blindness or will be completely unfocused. I am worried it is related to my EDS. So, I will be having it checked this Friday just for my peace of mind.

Although my last few days prior to leaving are maxed with things to get done, I can not stop thinking about surgery. For the first time this weekend I thought about canceling it altogether. I get so anxious prior to surgery, but especially prior to major ones such as my RPAO and this FO. This is also more nerve-racking for me because this is a surgery to attempt to fix what was botched 2 years ago. This will also be different because my care team is aware of the EDS and consistent healing issues, but will also be having to deal with pain management problems because of the nerve hypersensitivity and the deterioration of my hip. I know I am in great hands with Dr. Millis and Children's, but I am still terrified. I know that my hip will never be perfect, nor will I ever be pain free but, it is hard because my case does baffle my doc and at best my hip may be 65-70%. This is a C-D grade range. I never liked anything below a B in school and especially when it involves my health! I also may need another surgery, maybe 2, to address additional issues. I will probably need to have a scope to repair my labrum again, but would be done locally with Dr. Maiers. That will be determined during recovery and how the hip heals. I will need to hardware removed after the bone heals, around a year minimum. This only addresses the right hip. During these last few years my left hip has had to compensate so much it has deteriorated. It is less stable, weaker, has chronic bursitis and consistent pain. This will need to be addressed within the next year because it is clear the scope is no longer helping the problems. This will be discussed during my pre-op appointment when we go over the game plan.

I am becoming increasingly more anxious as the days, hours go by. I was watching one of my favorite shows, House, and they were putting a girl to sleep for a surgery and the thought of that process for my surgery made my stomach flip. I have had moments where I don't want to do this; I don't think I can do this; Should I cancel? I have moments of doubts and wonder will this work? Should I cut my losses and quit now? I know part of this is anxiety and part of this is because I trusted a doc originally and it ended up disastrous. I know I will be in great hands, but it doesn't take away the history, the feelings, the pain. I just hope that this greatly improves pain and function. And I hope that I don't do this and then still need a re-RPAO or THR. That is probably my worst fear.