A Daily Battle

I have been definitely struggling more lately. I do my PT exercises everyday, but have hit a plateau. I am hoping to hear back from Millis very soon because I am sure that the plate is contributing to that. It also causes issues with the IT band and pulls the leg more inward. All which I was told about prior to surgery. I knew that the plate was not going to be comfortable as I was told, but it seems that its more like stabbing, throbbing pain. It may alsoe be the cause of my femoral nerve pain, which was not a problem prior to the FO. Needless to say, I WANT THE PLATE OUT! At this point, I don't even care if the bone is completely healed. I say that now primarily because I am frustrated and can only handle this level of pain for so long. I seem to be pushed from one doctor to another and I feel as if no one wants to take my case because of all the issues. Even my local OS, who has done 3 prior surgeries with me, does not want to do my hardware removal, despite the suggestion from Millis.

I saw a THR doc today. It was a referral from my pain doc. My pain doc, Dr. Wright, was able to locate my sources of pain through a series of blocks. He did the first under fluoroscopy and into the joint space. It relieved about 60% of my pain. Then, he did a femoral branch nerve block and that took away the rest of the pain in my right hip/leg. He wanted a second opinion about his findings so sent me to a colleague in hopes that a THR would be an option to help with the pain and improve function. The appointment was an EPIC FAIL! It did not go as I thought or expected. He seemed nice, but did not have the greatest bedside manor. He didn't seem to understand what I was going through or the pain that I was having. He did not think I was a candidate for a THR. It wasn't that I am too young or even that the plate is still in, but that because of the FO. The FO changed the position of my femur, which I knew. I did not know that because of the angle of the new position it would take away the possibility of a THR in any realistic terms. When the plate comes out and if the joint pain remains as it has been then I would need a custom piece made me for, which he stated would cost tens of thousands of dollars for the implant alone OR my femur would have to be re-broken. Wow! I was not aware that my FO would take away the possibility for a THR in the future. This is definitely on the top of the list of things I need to discuss with Millis. I am more than over this process and ready to have some sense of normalcy back in my life. I spend waay too much time in doctor's offices, PT, diagnostics, procedures, etc. A break would be nice and NOT a break in my bone lol

I left the appointment with more questions than answers. It is all waiting on what Millis will say and what we can work out. Although Maiers said he is not comfortable doing the hardware removal, it may be my only option at this point. Millis suggested that it was a simple procedure he was more than capable of doing. I just can not financially fly out to Boston at this time, but the pain is so intense I want the plate to come out to definitively determine the source(s) of my pain. We can not even begin to work on the left till the right is stable and as of last week, my left hip has less joint space than the right. It has been the leg being used to compensate for over the past 2 years. I emailed Millis again this afternoon and am keeping my fingers crossed for a call in the next couple days!

My shoulder and wrist could also use a break. My left shoulder, wrist and hip are definitely "shouldering" the burden. No pun intended, ha! My left shoulder has always been the worse of the 2 because of a severe dislocation in high school, but lately has been subluxating a lot more. About a week ago my left wrist gave out while getting things out of my car and my body weight fell onto my wrist hyper-extending it. That did hurt for quite awhile. I use a supportive brace that still allows me to grip the crutch.

More concerning than the skeletal issues are the constant headaches I have been having for the past 3 or so weeks. I continue to get visual disturbances. They started in June, prior to my FO. I thought it was a freak thing, but they are becoming more frequent. They are temporary periods of blindness. It is not dark, but fuzzy and unable to distinguish anything. They are short-term, but not normal. I saw my ophthalmologist in June when they first happened and he could not find anything major at that time, but it may be time for another visit. We do know that it is not a prescription issue and the headaches are not eye related, as of now. I have also been having bouts with some intense nausea. It is not a fun thing to have, but zofran seems to help that. It may be time for another trip to the PCP!

I have been feeling very stressed trying to manage everything: school, work, medical issues, financial issues, etc. Work can be difficult because of so many appointments or just not physically being able to get there that day. School is another issue because my school does not accommodate very well. I just had a meeting with our school's ADA service and even they admitted that the school, especially my program, was particularly poor in dealing with these issues. They the professors "do what they want." That makes it very difficult to get help with missed assignments, extensions, even a safe place to sit in the class. Finances always seem to be a struggle, but lately even more so than usual. My family is stretched very thin with little reserve to help because they have helped so much already. I am not fighting for social security disability and will be filing for VA disability to help supplement the income I can not make working or when I have surgeries or procedures done. I am hoping that will help ease the burden and stress a bit.

It has been a lot to struggle with, but I am grateful for my family and close friends and of course, my pup, Chloe! My family and friends help hold me up when I am not strong enough, encourage me and give me an abundance of love. For that, I am truly grateful. I have been very blessed with some amazing people (and aussie shepherd) in my life!